OZ ATV :: The Australian ATV Forum

[Big Jb TRX450]

NOXQSZ wrote:

Sorry to hear you've had bad luck, especially twice, thats shocking mate! Glad to hear they caught the scum though. Im very big on security, whether it be bike, car, home or even personal security. As good as it would be to connect your mains to a drive way gate, roller shutter door etc - the time you'll cop for it is not worth it. That's not to say you can't have any fun "hunting" though. (edit - just saw you purchased the flood lights already, good job ) Jump onto eBay and grab some cheap sensor flood lights, set up two sets around your garage or any likely point of entry for the thieves onto your property. Set the third sensor up in your garage or somewhere where there is no chance of false reading from a passing pedestrian, cat, dog - whatever. Run the cable from that sensor to your bedroom, and mount it directed at your bed. It works well even for a heavy sleeper like myself. If you are handy with electronics, set up several (read - as many as feasable) piezo sirens running off the same sensor, but wire in a relay so that it has a 30 second to 2 minute delay from the light. This way you can actually have time to arrive at the scene unannounced to watch their reaction from said siren. Another option is to use a fairly cheap strobe light, when your crawling around in the middle of the night - in complete dark, the strobe light is enough to disorientate you for enough time for someone to have the upper hand. Obviously after either option you are waiting near by with a phone book, padded baseball bat, home made tazer/pepper spray etc. Something that isn't going to leave too much of a incriminating mark (9 times out of 10, if a crook is handed over slightly bruised after a big fall down 30 stairs (or 10 stairs repeatedly) from your citizens arrest, the boys in blue wont give a crap - if hes unconscious or there is a serious weapon involved its a different matter). Equal force used as to that of the criminal is legal. So if you just happen to find a hammer in your shed, that possibly belonged to the criminal (Make sure your initials aren't engraved on it lol), you would be legally in your right to defend yourself with just equivelant force. If it happens again and I hope it doesn't mate, and if you catch them, hog tie them with industrial cable ties and place them in the back of a ute or trailer (caged prefered), secure them safely and take them to the cop shop, take the scenic route via a nice secluded bush area, throw a shovel and some garbage bags n gloves in the back of the ute/trailer. Get there and start digging, while giving them the chat - "I hope you're good at holding your breath", "Dont worry, a few of your thieving mates are down there to keep you company", "If I have to come out to this spot one more time, Im going to go through the next guys whole family tree", "I hope you boys are into necrophilia" are all suitable lines. They'll be packing six shades of brown, and then you give them the option. Take their drivers license, get all there details, if they don't carry ID (Which is most likely) go past there home - tell them to describe the house before you get there, don't stop, just keep going - repeat for each thief. Drop off the shovel and gear and head to the cop shop. Let them know before you hand them over that you will be keeping a eye on them, and if they are seen anywhere near your house, your street, your suburb - you'll be coming straight over to take them for the one way drive. Ofcourse if you do the last part you would be holding someone against their will and not taking the quickest route to do a Police hand over - but hey, Ill cop the wrap for the reward!

I think ive found my new hero & best friend...ill b printing a copy of this!!
_________________
04 TRX 450r
with a bit of this & a bit of that

[yogie]

NOXQSZ wrote:

Get there and start digging, while giving them the chat - "I hope you're good at holding your breath", "Dont worry, a few of your thieving mates are down there to keep you company", "If I have to come out to this spot one more time, Im going to go through the next guys whole family tree", "I hope you boys are into necrophilia" are all suitable lines. They'll be packing six shades of brown, and then you give them the option.

yes, there was a certain mate of mine with some of his mates did this one night and the scum was actually made to dig a hole, but in the end he was handed a lemon tree to plant. there was lots of crying and begging. This fella never touched his wife again after that.
_________________
2005 KFX700
With a few bells and whistles
and the twin yoshi's
American Star A-arms, tie rods
elka stickers
Shorty Shifter
I have a Waco
rossco gave me a flexx sticker
honda thumb
Great at climbing trees
durablue stickers

[Predatory]

Stun Grenade, no damage, no marks on the body, no evidence and even the heaviest sleeper in an alcohol induced coma will wake up, small mess and maybe some broken glass, but that small price to pay. The best part about it......... they never visit your property ever again.
_________________
Its not if you win or lose but how you enjoyed the ride!

[NOXQSZ]

Theres a tonne of things you can do, not only to deter potential thieves and prevent theft of your belongings, but theres also steps you can take to ensure if the bike IS taken, the theives endure that much pain, that by the end of it - they are going to wish they had never seen it.

All you need is a little imagination.

Heres a couple ideas for the people on here who are drawing blanks (I do however, deny all responsibility for repurcussions if you do these and something fails or you are incriminated)...

* Get a second seat and some fishing gang hooks. Use pliers to straighten the hook. Remove the seat cover and secure several hooks around the regular seated position. Be smart and imaginative. Let them rust a little first, put deep heat on them etc.

* A second set of grips, or even replacement bar (Possibly a bent spare) to save headaches in removing/installing "custom" grips after each ride. Attach power through a hole in the grip to the wire used to tighten grips, repeat for both sides. There are 1,001 D.I.Y tazer walk throughs on the net and the chances that they will get on the bike or even push/pull it from the bars is very likely. If you're not too electrically minded, thumb tacks or previously mentioned fishing hooks will work well.

Theres a million things you can do. Just think like a criminal - its not hard. Think - if I was a crim, where would I enter from, how would I escape etc - you live there - you should be able to answer that better then ANYONE. Once you figure that out think about the bike, if the ignition was off and I was taking it, how many people would I need? What equipment would I need? Where would I make contact with the bike and my body? Plastics? Grips? Pegs?

Now you have a fairly accurate estimate on how many theives there are likely to be, what they will be carrying, where they will enter from, where they will exit and no to mention what parts of the bike to "modify".

Get inventive

Just remember, your security is only as good as its weakest link.

[fossil800R]

Man I don't think my ribs will ever stop hurting, that is the funniest sh1t I have ever read. If you ever want a change of occupation, I will send you a plane ticket to Port Hedland and you can set up a security business here. A certain portion of the population may be decimated after the first couple of weeks but we will all sleep soundly I'm sure.
_________________
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying it!!!

[NOXQSZ]

yogie wrote:

...This fella never touched his wife again after that.

Wouldn't even bother that much with the guy until I took the wife for everything she was worth, black listed her to all her family and friends and made sure any attempt to live a regular life in the same country would be pointless.

Thats assuming she was cheating and not getting harassed? If thats the case, I would have planted the lemon tree on top of him. Good compost.

Port Headland you say? Was in Broome not long ago on a 4WD trip through the Kimberelys. Security IS my profession If you would like any more "pointers", feel free to PM me lol

[Big Jb TRX450]

NOXQSZ wrote:

Theres a tonne of things you can do, not only to deter potential thieves and prevent theft of your belongings, but theres also steps you can take to ensure if the bike IS taken, the theives endure that much pain, that by the end of it - they are going to wish they had never seen it. All you need is a little imagination. Heres a couple ideas for the people on here who are drawing blanks (I do however, deny all responsibility for repurcussions if you do these and something fails or you are incriminated)... * Get a second seat and some fishing gang hooks. Use pliers to straighten the hook. Remove the seat cover and secure several hooks around the regular seated position. Be smart and imaginative. Let them rust a little first, put deep heat on them etc. * A second set of grips, or even replacement bar (Possibly a bent spare) to save headaches in removing/installing "custom" grips after each ride. Attach power through a hole in the grip to the wire used to tighten grips, repeat for both sides. There are 1,001 D.I.Y tazer walk throughs on the net and the chances that they will get on the bike or even push/pull it from the bars is very likely. If you're not too electrically minded, thumb tacks or previously mentioned fishing hooks will work well. Theres a million things you can do. Just think like a criminal - its not hard. Think - if I was a crim, where would I enter from, how would I escape etc - you live there - you should be able to answer that better then ANYONE. Once you figure that out think about the bike, if the ignition was off and I was taking it, how many people would I need? What equipment would I need? Where would I make contact with the bike and my body? Plastics? Grips? Pegs? Now you have a fairly accurate estimate on how many theives there are likely to be, what they will be carrying, where they will enter from, where they will exit and no to mention what parts of the bike to "modify". Get inventive Just remember, your security is only as good as its weakest link.

i think im in love
_________________
04 TRX 450r
with a bit of this & a bit of that

[yogie]

NOXQSZ wrote:

yogie wrote: ...This fella never touched his wife again after that. Wouldn't even bother that much with the guy until I took the wife for everything she was worth, black listed her to all her family and friends and made sure any attempt to live a regular life in the same country would be pointless. Thats assuming she was cheating and not getting harassed? If thats the case, I would have planted the lemon tree on top of him. Good compost. Port Headland you say? Was in Broome not long ago on a 4WD trip through the Kimberelys. Security IS my profession If you would like any more "pointers", feel free to PM me lol

I should clarafy, this bloke used to bash her and even hospitalised her a few times...
_________________
2005 KFX700
With a few bells and whistles
and the twin yoshi's
American Star A-arms, tie rods
elka stickers
Shorty Shifter
I have a Waco
rossco gave me a flexx sticker
honda thumb
Great at climbing trees
durablue stickers

[yogie]

NOXQSZ wrote:

Theres a million things you can do. Just think like a criminal - its not hard. Think - if I was a crim, where would I enter from, how would I escape etc - you live there - you should be able to answer that better then ANYONE. Once you figure that out think about the bike, if the ignition was off and I was taking it, how many people would I need? What equipment would I need? Where would I make contact with the bike and my body? Plastics? Grips? Pegs? Now you have a fairly accurate estimate on how many theives there are likely to be, what they will be carrying, where they will enter from, where they will exit and no to mention what parts of the bike to "modify". Get inventive Just remember, your security is only as good as its weakest link.

good point, a mate of mine has his bike chained down, but his shed is far enough from his house, I pointed out to him, its no point have a bike chained down if your grinders and other power tools are there in the open, so they can cut the thing free, I lock that sort off stuff up as good as my bike.
_________________
2005 KFX700
With a few bells and whistles
and the twin yoshi's
American Star A-arms, tie rods
elka stickers
Shorty Shifter
I have a Waco
rossco gave me a flexx sticker
honda thumb
Great at climbing trees
durablue stickers

[NOXQSZ]

Oh "profanity removed", I misunderstood Yogi, I thought you meant they went after a guy who was chasing your mates wife. Hope he learnt his lesson well.

Yeah its not hard mate!

Maybe your mate can try and find some room to build a large dog house style container secured to the house, and make it lockable. Its a extra pain in the ass, if they get it open and its chained up seperately, possibly even if the chain leads through a wall inside a laundry or similar to a ground anchor - they will be restricted with movement which is just one more thing that may lead them to say, F it, and leave empty handed. Wouldnt take up much space at all and could even incorporate it into a garden bed, BBQ or similar to keep the Mrs/family/olds happy.

[fossil800R]

Ok....decided to try a few of your "security" ideas last night in hope of catching a perpetrator to run the old "lemon tree" scenario. Results of said trial are as below.

As suggested, I adorned the wife's spare seat with an assortment of hooks from gang to shark and snuggled into bed to await the outcome. At midnight, an unholy wail awoke us from our slumber. Fully expecting to discover one or more of our bent stick throwing bretheren trying desperately to remove themselves from their prospective booty, we were more than surprised with our "catch". It would seem that as an avid fisherman I had subconsciously baited each of the hooks, most of which were now firmly attached to Mr Fru-Fru the neighbour's prize Persian cat. The vet assures us that Mr Fru-Fru will make a full recovery and, after advising us that land based feline angling was a crime in Western Australia, we were let off with just a warning by the local police.

The wife was keen to try the motion sensor/bedroom light set up. We purchased one of those artsy garden sensors in the shape of a large frog, and , as we are both heavy sleepers, wire it into 175watt spotlights attached to each of the four bedposts in the master bedroom. After detaching Mr Fru-Fru and seeing off the local constabulary, the wife and I crawled into bed sometime after 2.00am. It was not long after this that our newly aquired garden ornament attracted the amorous advances of a large green tree frog. In the ensueing light show, we learnt a great deal about the fast and furious lovemaking techniques of our amphibious visitor. At the climax of his performance, the four spotlights attached to our bed flickered furiously creating a strobe effect. This prompted me to bust into my best robot dance moves in an attempt to bring some levity to Mrs Fossil's mood. In hindsight, it was probably a mistake to leave the DIY tazer on Mrs Fossil's bedside table. The doctor assures me that the feeling will return to my genitals in time.

As of this morning, all three bikes are sitting out on the front lawn. From where I sit in the loungeroom, icepack strapped to my nether regions, I can see Mrs Fossil has placed a "please take me" sign on each one. I'm not quite sure what her security strategy is here but I hope she is lurking nearby with spade and lemon tree in hand because a car has just pulled up.
_________________
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying it!!!

[feralkid]

Haha cats are only good for bait anyway though. Do you have a dog at all Fossil??
_________________
"If in doubt go flat out"
"Nothing worth having is easy to get"

[Dino]

Glad the native frog had a good night. No cane toads yet?
_________________
Remember. We elect politicians, but we have to deal with bureaucracy.
Notice that crazy in the bureaucrats.

[NOXQSZ]

You good sir, are a legend! I seriously lost my "profanity removed" reading that. Very well written.

I take my hat off to you.

If you require any further security service or advice, feel free to PM me and I will promptly book the next available flight.

Maybe we can salvage something from this? Possibly break into the frog porn industry?

[Big Jb TRX450]

fossil700R wrote:

Ok....decided to try a few of your "security" ideas last night in hope of catching a perpetrator to run the old "lemon tree" scenario. Results of said trial are as below. As suggested, I adorned the wife's spare seat with an assortment of hooks from gang to shark and snuggled into bed to await the outcome. At midnight, an unholy wail awoke us from our slumber. Fully expecting to discover one or more of our bent stick throwing bretheren trying desperately to remove themselves from their prospective booty, we were more than surprised with our "catch". It would seem that as an avid fisherman I had subconsciously baited each of the hooks, most of which were now firmly attached to Mr Fru-Fru the neighbour's prize Persian cat. The vet assures us that Mr Fru-Fru will make a full recovery and, after advising us that land based feline angling was a crime in Western Australia, we were let off with just a warning by the local police. The wife was keen to try the motion sensor/bedroom light set up. We purchased one of those artsy garden sensors in the shape of a large frog, and , as we are both heavy sleepers, wire it into 175watt spotlights attached to each of the four bedposts in the master bedroom. After detaching Mr Fru-Fru and seeing off the local constabulary, the wife and I crawled into bed sometime after 2.00am. It was not long after this that our newly aquired garden ornament attracted the amorous advances of a large green tree frog. In the ensueing light show, we learnt a great deal about the fast and furious lovemaking techniques of our amphibious visitor. At the climax of his performance, the four spotlights attached to our bed flickered furiously creating a strobe effect. This prompted me to bust into my best robot dance moves in an attempt to bring some levity to Mrs Fossil's mood. In hindsight, it was probably a mistake to leave the DIY tazer on Mrs Fossil's bedside table. The doctor assures me that the feeling will return to my genitals in time. As of this morning, all three bikes are sitting out on the front lawn. From where I sit in the loungeroom, icepack strapped to my nether regions, I can see Mrs Fossil has placed a "please take me" sign on each one. I'm not quite sure what her security strategy is here but I hope she is lurking nearby with spade and lemon tree in hand because a car has just pulled up.

u kill me u really do !!
_________________
04 TRX 450r
with a bit of this & a bit of that

[quadsta]

bloody thieving bastards